RecentlyIturnedtoafriendwhowasridinginmycarandaskedher,“Whatdoyoulikeaboutyourself?”Werodeinsilenceforseveralminutes.Finally,sheturnedtomeandsaid,apologetically,“Ican’tthinkofanything.”
Iwasstunned.Myfriendisintelli-gent,charming,andcompassionate—yetshecouldn’tseeanyofthat.
Iknowshe’snotalone.Lowself-esteemhasbecomethenumber-oneissueplaguingwomen.DespiteGod’sas-surancethathe’sabsolutelycrazyaboutus,mostofuscan’tbelievehemeansus.It’slikethecynicaleditorwhotellsthecubreporter,“Ifyourmothersaysshelovesyou,checkitout.”
Iwasareporterfor12years.OneofthefirstthingsIlearnedinresearch-ingastorywas“garbagein,garbageout.”Ifyourrawdateisflawed,youendupwithafaultyconclusion.Thesameistruewithhowweseeourselves.Ifwelackself-confidence,maybewe’reworkingwithflaweddata.
Therealityis,inhundredsofsub-tleways,ourculture,family,friends—evenourthoughtlife—conspiretoundermineourconfidence.Wegrowupinfamiliesvoidofaffirmation,encouragement,andrespect—thebuildingblockstoself-confidence.ThenwefindourselvessmackdabinthemiddleofaworldthatlionizessizetwoHollywoodstarletsandBarbie-dollfigures.Ourpaycheck,ourtitle,orsomeotherartifi-cialyardstickgivesustemporaryentreintotheworldoftheaccepted.Butinourhearts,weknowitisn’treal.Howdowefindourwaytothetruth?